I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
