That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
