This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pants are for mortals
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
