Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
