I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
