Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
