apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
