Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
