No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
