Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize