She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
