I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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