there's paper in my vomit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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