I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize