think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cockslap morals
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
