How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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