I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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