There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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