I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
