new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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