Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
