i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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