I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
