I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
