the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i will never coherently bang her
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize