All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
