i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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