My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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