They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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