Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
