i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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