ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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