marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
