TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
