What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
