Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
