I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
