**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
