Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize