We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
time to smoke my breakfast
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
