fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There are leaves in my underwear?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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