Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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