i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
