but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
