Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
