I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
