i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
