The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
