oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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