you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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