Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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