If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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