This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
