Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
even my farts smell like vagina
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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