I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
