my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
