I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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