Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
