did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need water and some morals
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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