nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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