I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
