I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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