If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Let's get the cat blown out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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