Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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