I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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