You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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