love makes seman taste better
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
